Submitted by David Broadhead
Dear neighbours,
In response to Phil’s note about the investigation that the Board reported on recently, I tapped out a few thoughts. This note is meant to engage ideas and push pull and tug at them. Let’s see where they land.
I can’t know where the investigation started and stopped. It was confidential and needs to stay that way. That honours the folks who contributed, believing in that confidentiality.
Let me quote a chunk here:
“Where we have difficult interactions across the membership that are traceable to personal styles and convictions and not malicious intent…,”
In this statement I find assertions that lack support. They need to be filled out. Are these conclusions of the investigation or the judgement of a member or members?
If these are conclusions from the investigation, they can’t be discussed. There is necessary context that members cannot know. Conclusions like these would be a stab in the dark.
Should these judgements be the opinion of a member or members, where does that take us? Most of us have strong feelings about inter-family conflict. Much of the time we don’t understand the full story. With respect, the stabbing here is in the same darkness.
And thus the next question – are we equipped to deal with tough conflict in our community?
I experienced difficult conflict last year, in fact I know I contributed to the conflict. At times I turned the heat up rather than dowsing the flame. However we describe that time, it did not feel like “personal styles and preferences”. I can’t know if others were acting out of “malicious intent”. Hopefully malicious intent was absent from all of our words.
What’s the point? It’s this – we can’t go back and redo or undo the investigation. Nor can we journey rearward and do a better job of handling old conflict with our neighbours. This is a one way street.
Many of us think that we were unprepared for community life over the past couple of years. The careful writing and lots of it on this page shows that. Members speaking. There are strong, deliberated ideas here. Hear the calls for us all to be better.
Let’s all contribute to the questions about Continuity Planning. We are hungry for courage and compassion. The whole is wiser than any one or group of us.
I have to work Roberts Rules in somehow. Here is my attempt:
I am a fan. That is, I am a fan of any operating policy that helps the shyest among us find equality with the brashest. That making way for others is a beautiful thing. Without waiting for survey results or construction grants, I can do exactly that now.
The question of what to do about past pain is too much for this note. People hurt, the community must acknowledge it in some way. We need wisdom and big soft hearts.
When I arrived at Sunnyhill I soon heard about Vision 2020. Didn’t know much about it, but it was the first time I associated Phil with anything. Since then he has constantly looked to the future and at times I get to work with him. Let’s keep our future in focus and head that way together.